So Now We’re Party Shaming?

I guess I’m that mom. You know the one, the mom who likes to plan great parties. I’ve read several articles in the past week Party Shaming moms who happen to be crafty, or God forbid, happen to enjoy planning parties. I can’t speak for all the other moms out there who also enjoy these things, but I personally think it’s a load of crap that I am somehow seen as an antagonist. Not once in 19 years have I ever taken the time to worry about trying to impress other moms, much less outdo them, when planning my kids’ birthday parties. I always think about what my kids would like, what their friends would like, and yes, what I think would be fun to try. It’s not a freaking competition.

So Now We're Party Shaming DIY Party Blog Article

Do I judge other moms when I take my kids to their kid’s parties? Heck, no. That goes for both ends of the spectrum, too. If a mom wants to spend no more than $50 on a party and have the kiddos play out back, that’s fine by me. I bet they’ll have a blast. If a mom wants to spend $1000 on her first child’s first birthday, that’s also fine by me. I bet those kids will have a blast, too. Either way, it’s none of my business how much they spent or how long it took them to make everything. Who cares!? Neither of those moms likely sat down and strategized how to either show up or scam other moms. They were thinking of their kids, their budgets, or maybe a cool idea they saw on Pinterest. Maybe that elaborate first birthday party is also a celebration because they struggled with infertility and now feel blessed. You don’t know their lives. Stop being so self-righteous.

So, you’re put out that your kid got a bag of cheap toys and candy as a thank you? Did you also roll your eyes when the other mom gave them an adorable miniature tin pail full of homemade cookies? How about if there was no goody bag whatsoever? There’s no winning. Please tell me, what can I give to your child that won’t insult the party police?

So Now We're Party Shaming Pinterest Party

People want to gripe about everything. If you personally feel stressed, swindled, or intimidated by other people’s parties, then stop taking your kids to them. Don’t bring your child to a party and think they owe you anything but a good time. They don’t need to justify why they handmade all the decorations, or why they bought a cheap grocery store cake. There is no party approval committee to say those packaged Spongebob decorations from the party store just don’t cut it.

Simply put, some people are more creative than others. Get over it. I won’t stop just because it’s not something you would do. Well, I also won’t stop because that’s a major focus of our website, lol.

So Now We're Party Shaming Low Key Party

Do we really need to add Party Shaming to the list of ways to judge other parents for doing what worked for their family? I say no. Dismount from your high horse and try to relax and enjoy the party instead. The Kool-Aid is delicious!

If you enjoyed my snarky point of view, you may also like our other Blog Articles.

We also like to chime in on Facebook when craft or party subjects peak our interest.

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Hi, I’m Marie. I’ve been obsessed with crafting for most of my life. I love to experiment with new crafting techniques as well as making the classics. Over the years and after three kids involved in various activities, I discovered my other passion, event planning. I love making my own decorations and styling rooms for parties. I’m at my happiest when I can combine crafts and party styling. It’s so much fun!

About Marie Dabbs

Hi, I'm Marie. I've been obsessed with crafting for most of my life. I love to experiment with new crafting techniques as well as making the classics. Over the years and after three kids involved in various activities, I discovered my other passion, event planning. I love making my own decorations and styling rooms for parties. I'm at my happiest when I can combine crafts and party styling. It's so much fun!

24 thoughts on “So Now We’re Party Shaming?

  1. I love to throw parties of any kind but I am not crafty at all. So I say a huge THANK YOU to all of you bloggers and Pinterest ladies who are!! You have given me ideas & inspiration for a parties and even decor. Without all your great talents, the world would be a very boring place. So I say “carry on” to your artistic hearts content and please keep throwing big decorated kid parties and little get togethers knowing there are people out there that admire your efforts and even occasionally drool at your pictures…haha. Sincerely, a older mom who will still throw her collage-age kids parties when she can! XO?

    1. Thank you, Debbie. I just threw a Power Rangers Party for my son and only handmade the invitations. Everything else was store-bought, but I used the decorations in different ways. I love to show people that with a little tape and some thumbtacks, they can make parties look amazing, too.

  2. People need to get over themselves. Some people like to plan parties. Some people like to get crafty. If you don’t, then who cares. Stop trying to make other people feel bad because you don’t like to or are no good at something. All this shaming needs to stop.

    I personally love making crafts with my kids. Yes, I love Pinterest for ideas. No, I do not care if you are not crafty. I do me. You do you. M’kay?

    I LOVE this post! Your party ideas are awesome!

    1. Thanks, Heather. I just saw another anti party post the other day and it reminded me I wrote this. I still feel the exact same way. I think it’s amazing what can be created for parties with very little money and effort. But yes, usually some crafty skills are necessary, lol.

  3. I think this is a great post. No parents should be shamed because of lack of funds or have a more creative side when it comes to throwing a party. I love to plan parties. Sometimes i can afford to spend alot. Other times not so much. Usually I save up for months to throw a big party.

  4. I have seen those posts and articles as well and have decided to ignore them. Moms should not be made to feel bad or be shamed because they enjoy planning elaborate parties for their children (or for any reason for that matter). I love throwing themed parties for my daughter and I do it because I enjoy doing it and I enjoy seeing the smile on my daughter’s face during her parties. I have never done it to impress others or in competition with other parents. I say to all moms, do what you enjoy and what works for you and your kids and ignore all the negativity!

  5. I remember when my daughter was young and went to private school. The first party of the school year was held at a ranch with pony rides and more. I began to plan my daughter’s party then. It worked out well, but I swore I would never do it again. I think the children get forgotten in all of this.

  6. I never heard of party shaming. I never thought about what other parents were doing. All I cared about was creating a fun time for my kids and their friends, which always seemed to happen.

  7. I suppose like a lot of things, shaming someone for any reason at all speaks volumes about the shamer, and doesn’t say one thing about the one being shamed. I agree with you and enjoy ‘old-fashioned’ (ie. inexpensive) parties just as much as expensive ones (and vice versa) as long as the kids have fun and someone gives me a piece of cake. 🙂

  8. So true! We should all just do our own thing. I was very crafty with my first and even second child. After the third, I surrendered and was just happy with whatever. If you enjoy it, who cares.

  9. Love this post and agree with you! I do love to party plan myself but my kids are so young I haven’t been shamed yet. Wonder how it will be once they are school age. There is so much competition in everything parenting these days it seems, whether we want or know we are competing or not.

  10. I really feel like reality TV is partly to blame for all the shaming. You look at shows like Real Housewives, and they’re always trying to outdo each other on everything. And looking down on each other for not doing “enough”. And then shows like My Super Sweet 16. All they try to do is see how much they can spend and how much they can do. Makes no sense

    1. Tell me about it! One of my main points is, don’t try to shame me because I like to make cool things for parties but also don’t shame people for not throwing huge, expensive events. It’s all about having reasonable graciousness as a guest. And if you can’t do that, don’t come!

  11. My parties are all over the place, one party is at a party venue, the next is in the back yard. It’s all about what the kids want and what works for us. I do wish people didn’t get offended though if you don’t have goody bags.

    1. I would never worry about it. Like I said, it has to be what works for your family and budget. Chances are if they are going to be irrationally upset about no goody bag, they’d also be offended if you handmade little treats, or if you got cheap junk. There is no winning, so I just let my kids choose. I ask what they’d like to get if they were a guest.

  12. I completely agree – and it also annoys me when people don’t reply to invitations, because whoever is hosting needs to know how many to provide for!

    1. Oh, now that’s a whole other topic for discussion, lol! I learned years ago to just assume everyone I invited will come, then give any extras to siblings who inevitably come.

  13. I very much appreciate this post. I’m a party planner. I love planning my kids birthday parties and making themes and making it as cool as I can for them but on a low budget. I do what I can to add to the theme but I don’t have loads of extra money to throw into the party. My sister-in-laws don’t have the same enthusiasm for parties and I don’t think they appreciate that I like doing it. However I don’t ever make them feel bad about the parties they throw. We each have our own talents and interests. For those who aren’t interested it doesn’t mean you have to make those who are feel badly about it! Good post!

    1. Thank you very much. After reading those articles, I felt mad because I feel like all of us crafty/ creative moms out there are being attributed with negative stereotypes that don’t actually exist on any significant level. Sure, there are always crazy parents who take things too far, but they exist in every facet of childhood, not just parties or crafts.

    1. We love it, too! I only brought up the topic because there seem to be so many anti-Pinterest mom articles floating around. Oh well, it won’t stop us!

  14. Mom shaming, period, is one of my pet peeves! I’m crafty, but don’t always have the energy to go all out for parties. I have enjoyed the parties where someone put a lot of effort into them, and the ones with a simple cake and ice cream at the park. My son’s third birthday was super low key, because we were moving and I was (still am) pregnant and not feeling well. I’m really not the competitive, judgy type, so it drives me bonkers when mommies do that to each other!

    1. Exactly! I don’t think there is as much judging going on as some might want us to think. I suspect some people just feel insecure and assume we’re judging them when in fact we’re too busy with our own lives and kids to notice.

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